Because I'm a glutton for punishment, I've submitted a short story to the upcoming anthology Superheroes, Super Problems. The opening scene is posted below. I figure if I can't at least get a personal rejection on this one, I need to just give up.
(I did get a nice personal rejection on this one a few years ago from a publication called Deep Magic. They folded not long afterwards. Coincidence?)
THE FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE
"Soon I--yes, I--shall control the entirety of Shady Acres Retirement Community!" shrieked Mister Twister. "Vengeance shall be mine!"
"Fool!" cried The Skullsmasher. "Shady Acres belongs to me, and me alone!"
"I'll thwart both of you," proclaimed Blue Blaze. "I and my trusty sidekick . . . my sidekick . . . um . . ." He trailed off, and looked sideways at me, then at his mashed potatoes.
I felt sorry for him, I really did, but I wasn't allowed to fill in the name for him. We're supposed to discourage the residents when they start soliloquizing. Too much potential for property damage. Management is pretty strict about stuff like that.
And I need this job.
"How about we all postpone our schemes until after dessert?" I suggested instead. "It's pineapple upside-down cake."
"I demand the largest slice," said The Skullsmasher. "Resist, and my unstoppable WoeBots will level this assisted-living facility."
"I demand two slices," said Mister Twister, smugly.
"I do not 'scheme,'" said Blue Blaze. He blinked at me sternly--I know, that shouldn't be possible--from behind his bright blue domino mask. "I am a hero, young lady. Only villains 'scheme.' Or 'plot.'"
"Tess," said Rashonda over my radio. "We need some help. OmniMan is wandering again."
"Be right there," I said. "Sorry, gentlemen. Duty calls." All three of them nodded at that. Even on their bad days, even the villains, they all understand about duty calling.
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